Introduction: The Messy Reality of Healing
We often imagine healing as a straight path—start at pain, move through the steps, and arrive at peace. But anyone who’s truly been through emotional healing knows that’s rarely the case.
Sometimes you feel like you’ve made progress, only to find yourself triggered again the next week. You wonder, “Am I going backward?” The truth is: you’re not. Healing isn’t linear—and that’s completely okay.
As someone who has faced anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and deep emotional lows, I’ve learned that setbacks are part of the process, not signs of failure. The journey is filled with pauses, detours, and emotional loops that often make you question if you’re doing it right. But believe me, if you’re trying, you’re already healing.
What ‘Healing’ Actually Looks Like
Real healing feels like waves:
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Some days you feel strong, hopeful, and clear.
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Other days, the sadness, doubt, or fear creeps back in.
And that doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human.
Growth happens in spirals, not straight lines. Each time you revisit an old wound, you’re doing it with a bit more wisdom, strength, and awareness than before. What used to break you may still shake you—but it no longer defines you. That’s growth.
Healing doesn’t mean you’ll never feel pain again. It means the pain won’t control you the same way it once did. And that shift is everything. That’s why healing isn’t linear.
Why Setbacks Are Normal (And Necessary)
You may think a setback means you’re not healing—but in reality, it often means you’re going deeper.
Here’s why:
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You’re confronting deeper layers of the pain.
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Your nervous system is learning to feel safe again.
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You’re testing your emotional tools in real-life situations.
Progress often hides behind discomfort. A relapse in anxiety doesn’t mean failure—it’s often a sign that your mind is shedding older patterns and resisting change. That resistance? It’s a normal part of transformation.
Think of it like peeling an onion—each layer brings tears, but also clarity. Healing isn’t linear it takes time.
3 Lies We Tell Ourselves During Healing
Let’s debunk some of the most damaging beliefs that show up when the journey gets hard:
1. “I should be over this by now.”
Healing has no deadline. Some wounds take longer because they run deep. Just because time has passed doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you’re still working through it, and that’s okay.
2. “I’m going backwards.”
No, you’re circling back to reinforce the healing—like revisiting a lesson with more clarity. Even if you feel stuck, you’re often uncovering something you missed the first time.
3. “Others are healing faster than me.”
Comparison is a trap. You never see their full story, only the surface. Everyone’s pain is different. Everyone’s pace is different. Trust your own rhythm.
How to Be Kinder to Yourself on Bad Days
Bad days are part of healing. They don’t erase your progress.
Here are some ways to show yourself compassion:
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Speak to yourself like a friend. Would you blame someone else for struggling? Then don’t do it to yourself.
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Track progress in months, not days. Tiny shifts compound over time. Healing is about patterns, not perfection.
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Celebrate your wins, even the small ones. Woke up and took a walk? That counts. Reached out to a friend? That matters.
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Stop measuring today by yesterday’s strength. Energy, emotion, and mindset fluctuate. Allow that.
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Create a ‘comfort list.’ It could be journaling, listening to calming music, or stepping outside. When bad days hit, use your list instead of spiraling.
You’re Not Failing. You’re Healing.
If you’re feeling stuck or like you’re failing in your healing journey, know this: you are still healing—even when it doesn’t look like it.
Healing isn’t a goal—it’s a lifelong relationship with yourself. There will be days when you feel broken, and days when you feel whole. Both are part of the same journey. You’re allowed to wobble. You’re allowed to fall apart. And you’re still worthy of peace, healing, and joy.
🌿 Want to Talk to Someone Who Gets It?
If you’re going through an emotionally tough time and want to talk to someone who’s been there, I offer 1-on-1 guidance sessions.
👉 [Book a free clarity call here] (Insert your Calendly or contact link)
Let’s walk through it together. You don’t have to figure everything out alone.
